Strand Leper is not alone!

[supthecreek]

no... that wasn't me...Strand Leper... he lives over there.

[NoSaltSuper]

First of all, that's a "chick" on th left.

So, she is clearly saying:

I'm looking for a battery sized friend abut this size.

To which, the helpful SUPer responds,  "SHes over there!"

[MJF]

No, I said the SUP shop is over there!

[PonoBill]

Dude looks like a lady.

[Reid SUP'd]

Just wondering if anyone here practices "chopping wood" aka the "lumber smack" with his paddle in between sets.

I enjoy doing this, try to get the edge of the blade to cut into the water as fast as possible, aggro crawlers will also be more thoughtful in whether to bring the negativity to you.

[surfinJ]

      That's a new one.  Along with acting loopy, or babbling in a foreign
          language, guaranteed to keep the wound up ones at bay.

[AM9K]

Thought I would bring this thread back so I can vent a little...

Out this morning early. Some good shoulder to head high sets.  Wind finally manageable...  Once in a while a head + wave or two. 6am texture turns to 7am bump.  I am taking the uncontested set waves from the far right.  My usual practice at this spot.

BTW - I am really digging my new micro-sinker Rusty McKinnon 8'4x28x3.5!" - I am totally squared away on this board now.  I have had it out in this type of bumpy surf now twice and this time I only fell off while not on a wave, maybe 3 times in almost 3 hours.  I felt really happy about that in addition to the few good waves.  

Long story short: I was hassled by two different kooks. Right after my first good wave, paddling back out prone through bad rip chop.  I hear:

KOOK1: Hey paddleboarder guy.  Hey paddleboard guy I know you can hear me! I need to talk to you!

(This is a river jetty mouth that I go to pretty regularly, usually when its walled at my normal beach break .  I live on the water down the beach a half mile north.  Anyway, I had just gone over some white water prone and had water in my face)... I don't even look back.   He paddles hard to catch up to me with his buddy.  He's a bald, kinda fat guy, on a super thick fun board.  Late 40's early 50's.  

KOOK1 again: You need to get out of here guy.  You are unsafe.

ME:  What the FUCK are you talking about?

KOOK1: You just cut that guys section and I watched you bail your board before that.  

ME: What guy are you talking about...?   and I had a hand on my board the entire time.  I turtled it.  Please just keep paddling.  I don't need a lesson from you.

(the last two waves I went over were empty because we are now way inside. everyone is kicking out before they even got close to us...)

KOOK1: You DO need a lesson and you need to shut your fucking mouth dude.  I am serious.  " (Starts paddling away.)

ME: (LOUDLY) WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOUR GOING TO DO? (MY ARMS OUTSTRETCHED WIDE) (I know, brilliant right....)

KOOK1:  (under his breath, still paddling away) ...choke you out.

ME: (LOUDER STILL) YOU ANINT CHOKING SHIT OUT OLD MAN.  FUCK OFF GEEZER!  I WILL FUCKING DESTROY YOU!

He paddled away and after that I never saw him again.  

------------------

2 hours later..

Super bumpy, About to leave. Getting tired.  I am saving my energy for sets, so I am sitting down and here comes a set off in the distance.  -I stand up,  al-most-got-it - Almost got it...  WOOOPS.  I fall straight down, hand on my board. Slow controlled fall off the tail.  I crouched down as I was falling.

A girl proner is paddling outside for the set at the same time 10 feet directly off the nose of my board...  No foul, but still I say  "sorry for the scare... its bumpy".  She smiles a little smile at me and takes off on this nice right.  

I am waiting again, treading water for a second.

ENTER KOOK2 (a woody allen looking guy in his mid to late thirties... paddling towards shore):  
"Dude, why dont you go over there..  you almost speared that girl with your board, go practice somewhere else."  

ME(PISSED):  You have no idea what the fuck you are talking about guy .... I am not endangering anyone.  I am sitting 30 yards away from the fucking peak and crowds....  I am already "Over there"...

KOOK2:  Dude, You obviously don't do this very often- that board is too small for you.  Go find another place to practice man. Your going to hurt someone.  (he paddles away).

ME: GO EAT A DICK !!! I AM GOING TO HURT YOU!!!

Frustrated at that exchange, I paddle right out to the main peak and wait (standing).  After letting a whole set go by and watching numerous longboarders drop-in on each other in partywave after partywave, I jump on a head high wall?, I see it curving around the 50 yard long sand bar out in front of the river mouth as I am taking off...  bowling on both ends.  I drop in right late, muscling the board into the wave from under water...  bottom, top, SMACK, (not closing out) reverse all the way back, bottom top, bottom, top and then SMACK again..... ride whitewater all the way in.  Best wave in recent memory.

THE END.

[sup_surf_giant]

The angry longboarder at Doheny who normally hassles me when it's just us two out was strangely silent yesterday when 5 billion folks were out.