How To Recognize True Friendship

[Califoilia]

I was reading an email sent to me a few hours ago, with the person lamenting about how you will know whether you have a true "friendship" with someone, or a mere "acquaintance" which can be determined in the oddest of places.  Here's what he wrote:

I spent my hormonal prime (0 - 26 years old) in Cuba. During that time, I never had to give a hand to a friend or relative moving to a new place. Nobody ever moved. What for? better opportunities in a different province? pfftt. In my years in foreign lands, ages 26 - 33, I have probably participated in 10 moves. The last one of them, today. Just an hour ago. Let me tell you something: True friendships in this life, are defined during moves, not sharing drinks at a bar, or going to strip clubs together. No, no, no, no. When you are moving to a new place, summon your friends, and question the friendship level of those who come up with excuses. Because moves folks, moves are annoying and terrible, and nobody loves them. Everyone hates them, but they are a necessary evil in capitalist societies. Embrace the camaraderie and social bonding. Perhaps I have way too many friends to optimize my life to the fullest. So, although I expect no moves in a while, I know I still have at least 10 or 12 more ahead in this life. Suck it up LT.

Btw, the wife, and I are thinking about moving in a couple months....I'm sure I can expect plenty of volunteers to help when we do so.

[eastbound]

sorry--i hate moving and wouldnt dream of imposing my pain on a good friend--i dont ask for or offer help moving--at aged 22, sure, when we have few possessions, lots of energy and more time on our hands--now? fuggedabouddit

[SlatchJim]

Dave, good litmus test 

During my recent move, I had a friend house me and Marty for 6 weeks until the house was ready.  We didn't really need much help moving, but by the end of the six weeks, I'm sure he would have volunteered  .

Where are you thinking about heading?

[Califoilia]

Dave, good litmus test 

During my recent move, I had a friend house me and Marty for 6 weeks until the house was ready.  We didn't really need much help moving, but by the end of the six weeks, I'm sure he would have volunteered  .

Where are you thinking about heading?

No where, but was just "checking" to see all of the offers to help come rolling in.

Dayum, guess I better get to working on my "freindship" skills. 

[pdxmike]

What does it mean when I mentioned that I was thinking of moving, and had lots of people offer to help me pack, borrow their pickup, lift heavy stuff, or just help in general, but those people are all my current neighbors?

[PonoBill]

Frank Sinatra said "A friend in need is a pain in the ass." I've moved dozens of people, even ones I hardly knew. I have no idea what I was thinking. Actually, I guess I did, my late good friend John Karamanaos was generally the instigator, and he was such a good man I could never say no to him. I knew he'd be there for me no matter what, even though the people he conned me into helping wouldn't.

He had a simple rule. Everything that fits in a box, goes in a box. He owned a commercial dairy, so he had vast quantities of boxes to be recycled, as well as a lot of trucks. He'd drop the boxes off a day or two ahead, explain the rule and tell the people we'd move them IF THEY DID THEIR PART and load the boxes, and tape them shut properly so they could be stacked, no exceptions. We'd show up and there would be all this stuff not in boxes, of the boxes wouldn't be taped, so we'd leave and come back when they did their bit. Of the dozens of moves I helped with, probably one or two did what they were supposed to on the first try.

Once everything is in boxes it's easy as heck to use a dolly to load the truck--takes an hour or so instead of all day. Same to unload. Nice exercise and you can do it all on the hop instead of puzzling out what to do with this stack of books, or that bunch of nicknacks.

Bottom line though is that if you think the test of friendship is what people will do for you, then you suck as a friend. The test is what you will do for them. There weren't many things I wouldn't have done for John, or for my other late great friend Barney. I miss them all the time.

[SUPcheat]

I live in California.  Everybody is an acquaintance, unless they borrow or steal something from you, in which case you never see them again except by accident.

People are always telling me what's wrong with me or my possessions or the way I take care of them, but I don't know if that's friendship or not.

If I asked anybody to help me move, they might stare at me in pie eyed amazement for a moment or two, and tell me how I am moving wrong, but then, they would act like they borrowed or stole something from me and disappear.

(This is a joke, by the way).

[Bean]

As Yogi would say, “Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.”

[Weasels wake]

I used to have a duplex w/ a single cottage next door to where I used to live.  One of the tenants was really good buddies with the guy who lived in the cottage in the rear.  One day the cottage burned down while the guy was at work, he lost everything, so he had to move into the vacant unit as part of the duplex, so far everything was cool.  His "good buddy" next door gave him a bunch of his clothes to make up for the clothes he lost in the fire, nice move.
A few days later, the fire victim was spotted by his "good buddy" using one of the shirts he gave him as a rag to wash his car.
Living next door I got to witness what happened next, suffice it to say that the shitski hit the fanski, "I will never give you a thing again!!!!"
"But you gave it to me!"
"Not to use it as a rag you low life!"
The fire victim moved out about a week later, leaving the rest of the clothes given to him by his "good buddy" on the ground, and I don't think they ever talked to each other again.
So who was wrong?
I think they both were.

[Bean]

Clearly the "good buddy" could use some fashion advice...

[eastbound]

california:   Hi my name is John. I will be your mover. Today's specials are....

Moving is a trauma, not something i want to share with others, their move or mine.
I'll bend over backwards to help a friend--i'd even pay for their move if the situation called for it. But packing loading etc etc--that shit ended in my 20's.