Can someone explain my wife to me please?

[PonoBill]

Oh, god, you're hopeless. Never NEVER say anything about PMS. Women believe to their very core that they are in complete control of their bodies. To suggest that they might be bitchy because of PMS, even if (or maybe especially when) they are clearly out of their gourds is a bad idea on the scale of trusting your savings with Bernie Madoff.

[Area 10]

Ok guys, enough already. I know that this is just light-hearted banter, but the sheer volume of it is starting to run the risk of looking like misogyny to women trawling this forum.

Personally, I'd like to see more women enjoying SUP, not fewer.

Sorry to have to be the grown-up today. It's your turn tomorrow.

[PonoBill]

I think the only adult supervision required is Admin (Randy), which if you think about it is pretty scary, and Chan, who will simply kick me in the nuts if I go too far.

[Rideordie]

I will take a stab at explaining your wife's recent actions for what it is worth.  To me, it it pretty simple.  I have run four marathons and may  have some insights. I am assuming this is your wife's first marathon.  Right?  Preparing for a marathon takes 12-16 weeks or so for the average athlete.  To the first timer, this can be an incredible physical and emotional burden.  It is also very difficult to schedule this extra activity in to an already busy lifestyle.  Work, social, church, whatever.  There is guilt associated with committing the extra time to the activity and not spending it in other areas.  When you miss out on the opportunity to run during a training window, it can make you very agitated.  The marathon challenge is daunting and the race looms large in her mind during every waking moment.  While there are many positive positive returns from running, strength, weight loss, sense of accomplishment, the down side is that it is stressing her out on many levels.  I don't think your wife has changed, but is the same person facing a great deal of stress.  You would not fully appreciate what I am saying, if you have never done it.  If this new attitude of your wife has coincided with her marathon training, I think that you have your answer as to why she is acting that way.  I suspect that once the race has passed your relationship will normalize.  Don't worry and don't take it personally.  It is temporary and understandable.  This is important: 1) Give her a lot positive strokes and support.  She really needs it.  2) Find a way to laugh about her irritability to diffuse the tension and 3) Tell her would will be glad on many levels when she crosses that finish line.  And you will be!!  By the way, I noticed that you were in Charleston.  I live in on Lake Murray in the Lexington, SC area.  If you ever plan to get up this way and want to go for a paddle and a beer, look me up!!  

[pdxmike]

I wouldn't worry about the women on standupzone.  The reason none of them (as far as I know) have posted is probably because first they need to pull themselves up from rolling around the floor laughing about the blind leading the blind long enough to be able to type out a response. 

This whole thread has already probably been posted as humor on a dozen women's magazine websites already.

[ObviousSup]

I wouldn't worry about the women on standupzone.  The reason none of them (as far as I know) have posted is probably because first they need to pull themselves up from rolling around the floor laughing about the blind leading the blind long enough to be able to type out a response. 

This whole thread has already probably been posted as humor on a dozen women's magazine websites already.

Provide examples of misunderstanding?? That's never happened before.

[hbsteve]

ObviousSup asked for an example of misunderstanding:  We leave the house going to get Mexican food.  We end up at a Italian place.   I misunderstood.  Simple mistake.

[PonoBill]

That reminds me of a great joke, but I can't tell it here.

[pdxmike]

ObviousSup asked for an example of misunderstanding:  We leave the house going to get Mexican food.  We end up at a Italian place.   I misunderstood.  Simple mistake.

I wouldn't even call that a mistake--it's just spontaneity.  Like when my great grandpa went to a basketball game, and came home three weeks later.  My great grandma asked him, "I thought you were going to a basketball game--why were you gone three weeks?" and he said "I did go to the game, and the guys invited me to go with them on their road trip". (True story.)

[Strand Leper]

Just re-read the subject line and am revising my original response:

"No."

[balance_fit]

I will take a stab at explaining your wife's recent actions for what it is worth.  To me, it it pretty simple.  I have run four marathons and may  have some insights. I am assuming this is your wife's first marathon.  Right?  Preparing for a marathon takes 12-16 weeks or so for the average athlete.  To the first timer, this can be an incredible physical and emotional burden.  It is also very difficult to schedule this extra activity in to an already busy lifestyle.  Work, social, church, whatever.  There is guilt associated with committing the extra time to the activity and not spending it in other areas.  When you miss out on the opportunity to run during a training window, it can make you very agitated.  The marathon challenge is daunting and the race looms large in her mind during every waking moment.  While there are many positive positive returns from running, strength, weight loss, sense of accomplishment, the down side is that it is stressing her out on many levels.  I don't think your wife has changed, but is the same person facing a great deal of stress.  You would not fully appreciate what I am saying, if you have never done it.  If this new attitude of your wife has coincided with her marathon training, I think that you have your answer as to why she is acting that way.  I suspect that once the race has passed your relationship will normalize.  Don't worry and don't take it personally.  It is temporary and understandable.  This is important: 1) Give her a lot positive strokes and support.  She really needs it.  2) Find a way to laugh about her irritability to diffuse the tension and 3) Tell her would will be glad on many levels when she crosses that finish line.  And you will be!!  By the way, I noticed that you were in Charleston.  I live in on Lake Murray in the Lexington, SC area.  If you ever plan to get up this way and want to go for a paddle and a beer, look me up!!  

Excellent posting RR...the stress associated with marathons, and many other endurance endeavours can be overwhelming for the athlete, specially, amateur ones.
Adding more stress via training to a daily life full of stressors itself ends up stressing everybody around.
And the fun, enjoyment and other health benefits of training for the event get out of perspective in comparison to the self imposed burden.

In my personal case, after many years of 'training' for amateur competition in triathlons and running, i ceased and desisted. So much stress, so much 'i have to train' and less time to share with the loved ones. The investment in time and energy wasn't paying back.

Enter SUP...back to fun, water time, camaraderie, adventure, etc. And fitness is very present, even better than my triathlon days. My wife shares it very willingly and the dog always comes with us.
I have even served as a volunteer during triathlons, keeping swimmers on course...on an sup !

SUP Competition? A few a year. No dedicated training, no stressors, lots of great vibes.

I don't mean to suggest that Rockbottom wife is wrong with her marathon goal. We all have our goals in sports.

I have a hipothesis on her behavior, you may read it at the beginning of the thread. Your hipothesis is very valid as well.

For now, i got a cold beer waiting...

May all be well

[surfcowboy]

Wise men have taught me to avail myself of the power of "shut the f up".

But understand, not a bit.

[Rideordie]

Balance Fit, just read your reply and prior post.  Thanks for the comments.  I agree 100% with everything that you said.  I think that you went after the training thing a Lot  harder than I did and sounds like you have a great deal of fitness knowledge too.  I think that we have ended up in the same place philosophically on both long distance running cost/benefit and SUP fun.  I also plan to try a few SUP races next year.   12' 6" class.  I'm 50, but I flat smoked my 23 year old son on a flat water paddle today.  Still have the strength and endurance.  Maybe I will have a chance to place!!

[balance_fit]

Balance Fit, just read your reply and prior post.  Thanks for the comments.  I agree 100% with everything that you said.  I think that you went after the training thing a Lot  harder than I did and sounds like you have a great deal of fitness knowledge too.  I think that we have ended up in the same place philosophically on both long distance running cost/benefit and SUP fun.  I also plan to try a few SUP races next year.   12' 6" class.  I'm 50, but I flat smoked my 23 year old son on a flat water paddle today.  Still have the strength and endurance.  Maybe I will have a chance to place!!

Hi RavenRider !
Thanks for your kind comments. I perceived an issue around our friend wife's story. This because of my experience in the fitness/training/rehab scenario.
Philosphically, well, years don't count in vain.
In other ways, not intending to hijack the thread, the same experience has helped me place well in 12.6 ft class in my later 40's. At this stage, if healthy, one can use all the experience of previous years to do well and have heaps of fun too.
I do concede, 20 yr olds are hard to beat!
Keep up the good work and be ready and well for your upcoming events.

[stoneaxe]

My wife and I have been together for 36 years....married for 30 of them. I'm one of the lucky guys that found a great woman early. We spend a lot of time together, countless thousands of hours over the years.  I still don't have a clue.....

Good luck.