Hi everyone, I'm back!
I'll try and reply to everyone's replies. Be forewarned, this will probably be super long.
Thought I'd give a brief update on the situation.
I went out on Monday with my experienced friend. She hired a board from her friend who instructs and has his own business, selling equipment.
We had a 9'6 Jobe windsurfing board which I believe was 35" or 36" wide and I felt so much happier.
We went out to a little bay/small beach. I mostly stayed in water that was only *just* too deep for me to put my feet down but I fell off a few times and didn't panic so much and all in all, had a nice time. I managed to stand up and paddle for maybe 5 minutes at a time, before losing my nerve and kneeling again.
I had my second lesson on Wednesday night, back on one of the centre's boards. I took their most stable one which was 11'6 (I think!) by 32" (that's the widest they have) and I totally panicked again. We started off in the small pool again for about 10 minutes, before moving out onto the river.
I stood up for all of about 1 minute and my legs were shaking like jelly!
I've come to the conclusion that it's being in a large group and also the fear of falling off in very deep water. 😳 Think I clearly have some social anxiety going on!
Totally typical of my logic: terrified in an enclosed, safe class environment but completely fine in shallower water in the sea(!), with a friend. 😆 I make no sense.
I've booked a private one to one session before the third week of class. I'm hoping once I get over the fear of standing up and staying up, I won't be so worried about it in a large group lesson come week 3.
Windwarrior: Thank you. I've taken on a lot of advice from yourself and others. I admit I did 97% of the last session on my knees!
Dusk Patrol: I'm definitely planning on this being the way forward for a while. I'd like to rent the wide board again - I just hope I can get over the issue in big groups. All the follow-up/social club paddles (after the end of the 4 week course) will be on a Wed evening in a group, with a trained instructor at the front and back. Realistically that's the only way I'm going to get out safely, longterm.
Ststesting:
I was repeating your mantra of reteaching my brain when I went out on the sea - it helped me try to stop over correcting.
Bulky: Thanks for the encouragement. Impressed at your goddaughter. Wow!
Well done for pushing through, having had people laugh at you (that's awful - shame on them!). Bet if you could see the same people now, you'd have the last laugh.
Thank you, Bean. I had a brief smile through the panic, last lesson. 😆
JEG: That's my plan for the one to one. I'm going to put on my brave pants and just try to concentrate on getting up and down repeatedly, while it's just me and the instructor so hopefully I won't freak about falling so much.
Wetstuff: I'm about 15 stone😳 UK dress size 16.
Thank you, you are completely right. I've realised it's totally a mental thing with me and getting over the worry.
Quickbeam:
Thank you, it did make sense and I've remembered as a technique to try as my confidence hopefully gets better.
PonoBill: Thank you for sharing both your own story and the lady's. It's really helped and given me some inspiration.
Dwight: Tried the biggest one they had last week 11'2 x 32" - still felt unstable but felt a lot more comfortable on the 35" (maybe 36") one my friend rented Monday. Sadly that's not available for use during the lessons. The biggest one they have is the 11'2, I was on.
805Standup: Thank you. I think I ultimately have to get used to a 32" wide board if I want to continue paddling through the organised groups/from the white water centre. I'm hoping I can stick with it! We will see.
Ichabod: As mentioned above, sadly I'm stuck at 32" if I want to continue doing it safely, setting off from the centre. I'm hoping to get out more with my friend, on a casual "playing around/practicing" basis, in which case we can rent the 35" again. Totally agree with you though, my confidence was miles higher on the wider board.
I should also mention, I'm limited to inflatable only, from
a local resource POV. No one has hardboards to use or hire.