Author Topic: SAD NEWS--Sunny Garcia  (Read 3299 times)

Windwarrior

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Re: SAD NEWS--Sunny Garcia
« Reply #15 on: May 02, 2019, 06:40:23 AM »
Windwarrior - I am so very sorry. That is absolutely horrendous. Words fail me: I’ve sat here staring at my computer screen trying to think of what to say. But, really, I’ve got nothing. Thinking of you guys at this extraordinarily painful time.
I can only imagine you being mind blown after everything I typed. I know, it's a lot. Last thing you'd think you'd be reading on a paddleboarding forum right? Crazy I know.

We're(my family) all a very emotional family. Italian/Spaniard descent. So we tend to talk with our hands a lot. When something good OR bad happens, you can imagine the reactions that fly. So yeah, it's been a rough time.

It all happened about a month ago. Everyone flew in from across the country and just kinda hugged each other a lot. Last time we all saw each other was a decade ago after our mom passed. One positive thing that came from all this was we all talked about not being apart so much from this time forward. So we're going to make it a point to gather once a year to bond.

After our mom passed, it hit us all rather hard. All my siblings have 3 kids a piece so they all retreated into their bubbles. Only problem being is I don't have anyone to retreat to. No kids to hold, no gf, not even a goldfish. So I was pretty much left to fend for myself. Mom was my world. We talked every day after work. I'd call and talk to her about my day(I lived in the PNW at the time and she lived in S.Cal.) and she would tell me about hers. When she passed, that all ended.

The woman I was dating at the time for almost a year and was madly in love with decided at some point to take on a hobby (other men) and became distant with me. So rather than having a shoulder to cry on, I got nothing. I decided to enlist a good friend of mine to make contact with her through Match (where we met) to see how long it would take her to respond to his note. 20 minutes was all it took. He forwarded me her message, I met her for lunch and I confronted her. I asked her 2 questions. 1- I thought we were exclusive (her response was, yes honey I can see myself marrying you) and 2- then explain this, as I slide the fateful (not to be confused with FAITHFUL) note across the table. Her reaction? Tears start dropping onto the note. She looks up and says, I don't know what to say. My response? I thought so and I walked out. Called my bro and told him I'm leaving the PNW and heading your way.

I became a recluse for the first year. After that, I decided to rediscover my love for the outdoors and everything "ing."

This is how I discovered paddleboarding!!!! Took a while but I found it!!!! Have grown to love every single minute cruising around on top of this board and alllllll the cool bodies of water I've been on and all the planning of the future one's I'm going to hit!!! I'm an organizer of a paddleboarding meetup group and enjoy it very much. Meet cool people and enjoy the stoke together! This year? Crested Butte and the Slate River!!!

How's that song go again? "I get knocked down but I get up again."

 ;D 8) :P :)
« Last Edit: May 02, 2019, 06:44:50 AM by Windwarrior »
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burchas

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Re: SAD NEWS--Sunny Garcia
« Reply #16 on: May 02, 2019, 06:52:16 AM »
So yeah, I totally agree with you on the constant reassurance of letting your loved ones or just friends KNOW that some out there IS caring about them.....no matter what.

Windwarrior, I wish you didn't have to speak out of experience, but it's that experience that made me realize how suck I'm at that. A simple gesture makes all the difference. Thank You!
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Windwarrior

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Re: SAD NEWS--Sunny Garcia
« Reply #17 on: May 02, 2019, 07:09:29 AM »
So yeah, I totally agree with you on the constant reassurance of letting your loved ones or just friends KNOW that some out there IS caring about them.....no matter what.

Windwarrior, I wish you didn't have to speak out of experience, but it's that experience that made me realize how suck I'm at that. A simple gesture makes all the difference. Thank You!
Simple gestures ARE what it's all about!

I'll never forget the day my brother grabbed ahold of me with a great big hug then started crying. He yelled from the top of his lungs "DON'T LEAVE ME "

No matter how awkward it may seem at the time, it WILL leave a permanent thought in that person's mind. Just let it flow......
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eastbound

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Re: SAD NEWS--Sunny Garcia
« Reply #18 on: May 02, 2019, 08:02:28 AM »
glad youre up again WW

and re "im afraid to say the wrong thing" ??  nope--be thoughtful about what you say, but say something--those who are in pain respond to compassion, even imperfect compassion
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Re: SAD NEWS--Sunny Garcia
« Reply #19 on: May 02, 2019, 08:07:13 AM »
Thanks WW for sharing your pain and experience. Talking helps. Asking someone you are worried about how they are doing, feeling helps. Human contact helps and if you are very concerned asking them if they are considering suicide does not prompt someone to act on it. If you can, get them to the help that they need. The loss of a child is heartbreaking. Your word have helped someone in need, they have helped me to reach out to a neighbour I know is struggling. Bob
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Windwarrior

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Re: SAD NEWS--Sunny Garcia
« Reply #20 on: May 02, 2019, 08:13:43 AM »
glad youre up again WW

and re "im afraid to say the wrong thing" ??  nope--be thoughtful about what you say, but say something--those who are in pain respond to compassion, even imperfect compassion
ABSOLUTELY!!! Compassion is key...
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Windwarrior

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Re: SAD NEWS--Sunny Garcia
« Reply #21 on: May 02, 2019, 08:32:41 AM »
Thanks WW for sharing your pain and experience. Talking helps. Asking someone you are worried about how they are doing, feeling helps. Human contact helps and if you are very concerned asking them if they are considering suicide does not prompt someone to act on it. If you can, get them to the help that they need. The loss of a child is heartbreaking. Your word have helped someone in need, they have helped me to reach out to a neighbour I know is struggling. Bob
I'm VERY HAPPY that it's helping someone out there!!!!

One thing I can say to look for is sitting in darkness with the shades shut when it's a clear blue sunny day out.

Even more so when it's gloomy outside. Open all the shades in the entire house/apt to brighten the mood indoors!!

Very first thing I was told and noticed when I landed in the PNW was that it was the suicide capital of the country due to all the "gloom." I moved there in the summer of 2000 and by September I started noticing commercials popping up for depression AND suicide prevention. So, I threw myself headfirst into the outdoors. Went to REI in Seattle and bought rain gear, hiking boots and a backpack. THEN I met a couple one day on Mount Rainier and told them I was hiking alone and new to the state. Well, they both asked if I'd heard of "meetup". They told me all about it and when I got home I liked what I saw. I  joined 14 different groups, met tons of new people and became an organizer in 10 groups. Next thing I know I'm at a grocery store one day wearing my signature blue bandana and a couple walked up to me and asked if I was "that hiker guy". I was stunned and laughed then said "why yes I am". I wasn't aware I was THAT popular or known. It was pretty cool though.

Meetup has been a godsend for me. It's free, very fun and gets people outside mingling with others!!! Any activity you could possibly think of you can search for and probably find it.

So yeah, get that neighbor OUTSIDE and active. One thing a doctor told me once was, the best thing for you is being active, it stimulates your endorphins, helps tire you out and you sleep like a baby. I can honestly say without a doubt in my mind, that has helped tremendously!!! I'm glad I listened.
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Re: SAD NEWS--Sunny Garcia
« Reply #22 on: May 03, 2019, 07:36:44 AM »
It looks like Sunny will pull through but it begs the question, did he want to? Hopefully this will be a wake up call and he gets help rather than attempting taking his own life again. I've had 5 friends or relatives take their own lives in the last 12 months and it just seems like it's getting to be more prevalent unfortunately.
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Windwarrior

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Re: SAD NEWS--Sunny Garcia
« Reply #23 on: May 03, 2019, 07:51:12 AM »
Good news to hear! Hopefully he finds happiness within himself and realizes the lives he's affected during all this through family and friends that come together before it's too late.

I can honestly say that once someone has their mind set on something like this, it goes one of two ways. Family and friends are critical!!

Wishing him love and hope in his time of need.

Hopefully he reads these comments.

Peace!
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eastbound

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Re: SAD NEWS--Sunny Garcia
« Reply #24 on: May 03, 2019, 12:46:29 PM »
good news--thx for the update--hope he's undamaged and can get help and be ok
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Re: SAD NEWS--Sunny Garcia
« Reply #25 on: May 06, 2019, 04:48:31 PM »
She even showed me her shoes and you could see what appears to be where at some point she stepped on her own shoes. As to try and change her mind to save herself or something. 

In interviews with survivors who jumped from the Golden Gate Bridge, the common thread is that the second their feet left the bridge, they knew they had made a mistake, and that whatever the problem was, it was not insurmountable.   


I had PTSD in my early 20's, and with that came depression and the whole list of torments. I've been through some bad things, but depression is, by far, the worst thing I've ever experienced. You just can't accurately describe it to people. It's my opinion that it's mainly support that keeps people moving forward. You can reach a point where the pain is so unbearable, the only reason you don't end it is because you don't want to hurt those who care for you. That's a dark place to be, and without the lifeline of people who care, there's nothing to hold on to.

Stigma or not, I made a promise to myself to always share my experience and be there for anyone who needs help. I'm greatly saddened when I hear of things like what happened with your niece, what's happening with Sunny, what AI went through, and on and on and on...

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Re: SAD NEWS--Sunny Garcia
« Reply #26 on: May 08, 2019, 03:30:00 AM »
i've suffered from depression and the cptsd form of ptsd since i was a kid and been on the ledge many times.  years of therapy of various kinds and years of drugs of various kinds kept me from taking the final step but they never made me feel any better.  i just ... maintained.  and then 8 months ago i found ketamine and finally for the first time i can recall, i actually knew what it was like to live without pain, both physical (since i have that pain too) and mental/psychic.  my various symptoms and wayward inclinations dropped by maybe 90%.  the treatments are expensive.  in my case, it's been 400 each, and i do it twice a month.  but if you can afford it, and you've got serious depression or ptsd, it's the way to go.  or at least it has been for me.  a godsend.

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Re: SAD NEWS--Sunny Garcia
« Reply #27 on: May 08, 2019, 03:46:00 AM »
always been wary, linter, of all meds, but esp abused drugs---but your take affected me, given your context here---tho not ready to reco to my young adult family member who has depression

closer, tho--thx for the insight

glad your feeling well
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Re: SAD NEWS--Sunny Garcia
« Reply #28 on: May 08, 2019, 04:29:02 AM »
I also have a prescription that helps me that isn't subject to abuse, which I have some historical trouble with. Lamictal keeps me from plunging far into into the pit or experiencing more than mild hypomania when headed in the other direction. I take responsibility for my previous problems with drug abuse, but it's interesting that a recent study found a 60% incidence of drug abuse in patients diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I am type 2, experiencing milder mania. Our bodies manage the brain with all sorts of chemicals and some of our internal chemists go mad scientist on us every now and then. Often the right medicine can counteract that or at least limit frequency and severity. I have often lied about my condition just because of public perception. If I am down and tell people I am depressed they try to cheer me up. If I tell then I have bipolar disorder they hide the knives.
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Re: SAD NEWS--Sunny Garcia
« Reply #29 on: May 08, 2019, 06:59:49 AM »
Mental illness runs in my family. Im 55, when I was in 4th or 5th grade my mom had a nervous break she was hospitalized for months went thru electric shock treatment and heavy meds turns out years later her thyroid seems to have been the culprit.  Shes on thyroid meds for the rest of her life if she goes off the meds shes literally a crazy person.  I also suffer from anxiety and depression.  I was taking celexa for the past five years or so, at first I think it helped, my wife thinks so, but lately Im not so sure so Ive been titrating off the meds.  I want to see what it feels like to be med free.  Also, in the past five years my alcohol intake has gone up which is scary.  Ive read some articles recently about folks saying they also experienced alcohol cravings while on celexa and when stopping the med the cravings went away.  Im not so optimistic but Ill see.  The thought Im suddenly an alcoholic sucks.  Its amazing how much mental illness is out there.  I know of three people I went to high school with who have a son that died from overdose.
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