livin' to dye another day!

[shapeshifter]

coloring the chicago river an emerald green on st. patricks day is a long held tradition and rite spring. this year a couple of us decided to paddle out to the downtown section of the river where the event was to occur at approximately 10:45 am.

leaving from about three miles north, we took a leisurely paddle to arrive near the designated area just before 10 am. it was obvious as we got close because of the legions of spectators lining the river walk and bridges. it was no surprise to encounter the chicago police department water safety unit poised dead center on the river on our approach. not trying to avoid the encounter we paddled right up the boat only narrowly escaping their initial round of pfd inquiries upon arrival. when asked if i responded that the drysuit i wore was a "floatation device" and paz flashed his wetsuit hidden beneath his jacket and running pants. given that, our friendly river police opted to waive us through.

paz and i took a couple of runs back and forth across the river to pass the time occasionally interacting with the merrymakers lining the shore. a passing tour boat cruised by, the temptation for the shifty one proved too much as a chase ensued, came up behind them but there was no wake to catch then opted to turn in their churn while approaching a bridge loaded with spectators. needless to say the shapeless one "chose" this moment to test the floatation qualities of said maritime assault suit system. it proved sea worthy as not a hair was drenched during the, ahem... transition. and the crowd went wild (all they wanted to see was someone hitting that dirty water!

well, realizing that they had a potential rodeo clown disaster on hand, our boys in blue decided to revisit the situation.. the same barrage of pfd questions rang out so... erm,  someone, heheheh... decided to demonstrate the obvious by taking another float on the river holding both hands up showing how the air in the suit kept head and shoulders above water. well again the crowd goes wild thinking that this nitwit was back in the drink. really doubt that the officers were too impressed with these impromptu demonstrations as they flanked us with their flotilla. now looking for any reason to get us out of the water. we found little hope for escape or reprisal (though vague thoughts of either possibility abound).

the ride over to the cpd marine unit off of randalph near navy pier (completely opposite direction of our vehicles) was pretty relaxed as we bantered about pollution and other relevant topics including the fact that the boards were active floatation devices. taking every opportunity to apologize to my fellow paddler and any figure of authority overlooking us now for good measure. it was a relief that they treated us and our boards with upmost respect as they let us store our "sleds" as they called them within the secure confines so that we can retrieve them later upon returning with a vehicle.

considering the situation we were a couple of lucky bassturds because in retrospect, though we never did have a chance to putter around the green, getting away without a ticket or having our boards confiscated was exciting enough to say the least.

[Chan]

Good to see you had a lil Luck O' the Irish on your side, shifty.  Maybe next year you can get a permit for a green river SUP parade.   Please post pic's if you have em'? 

P.S.  I've been using your skin cream daily, it's amazing.  I'll need to order a refill soon.

[surfpainter]

Great story Shapester.

[stoneaxe]

LOL....all you needed was some green suits and hats and you would have been OK

[PonoBill]

I know where you went wrong. First, you need to get video of some old Lucky Charms (tm) commercials and practice talking like a leprechaun. then you say:

"May the nourishment of the earth be yours, may the clarity of light be yours, may the fluency of the ocean be yours, may the protection of the ancestors be yours, and so may a slow wind work these words of love around you, an invisible cloak to mind your life."

then lay a finger alongside your nose and the cops will vanish.

Or they'll just toss you straight into the clink.

fun story buddy, we miss you already.

[shapeshifter]

thanks for the kind words...

...the whole experience was actually kind of cool in a "little boy / big truck" kind of way. i did everything i could to werk the magic: my suit was a dark green, the bark battle board has sea foam green decking trimmed in white, but alas, it's just too bad that the paddle couldn't pass off as a shillelagh! next time no more horse play until we're seeing green.

truth be told, i had taken that opportunity to test out some highbrow nutrient concepts for marathon events and the active ingredients might not pass the muster. just relieved that the man didn't have the wherewithal to shake me down for my pot of gold.

[PonoBill]

Ahhh, that's where me lucky charms went.