Shark Sighting

[TallDude]

ok bill, you be the silent partner--your name will be in the crypt--ill launch the sleazy business!

i am poorer than i am ethical! ha

re sharks, i agree with you, generally, and, much as i often skitter onto my board with a soiled diaper, i surf without much angst knowing there are often sharks around.

re stats i will offer that the number of people-hours-in-oceans-where-sharks-live is vastly smaller than that of people-hours-on-land-where-dogs-live, so there will certainly be many more dog attacks on humans

Re stats: Obvious, but dog bite injuries happen a million times more often than shark attacks. Shark attacks are so vanishingly rare that there really isn't anything to compare them to. Injuries from opening Skittles bags maybe--anything that happens once a year is in the same magnitude.

OK, here's a freebie sales to idiots idea. The Horoscope diet. "You must have noticed that sometimes it's very easy to lose weight and sometimes almost impossible. We've conducted a deep analysis of weight loss and discovered that eating according to your horoscope makes weight loss easy. You know that the relationship of your sun and moon signs controls your moods and how you interact with the world. It's obvious that it also controls how you should interact with food. Simply go to our website and fill out our horoscope data sheet. Our leading edge software creates a detailed horoscope and a menu plan for each week. This powerful service is offered for only $39 per month. You get ... blah blah. Weight loss is guaranteed if you follow the plan.

Advertise in all the idiot magazines--national enquirer, etc. And of course on facebook keyed on any mention of astrology.

Have at it. I started down the path and just couldn't do it.

Idiots....

[stoneaxe]

It always shocks me when I see someone I believe to be fairly intelligent wearing something with a hologram or magnets or whatever and they think it will improve balance, weight loss, whatever... . I just go to my Reiki master and have my life force energy tweaked for those kinds of things....

[kayadogg]

My father-in-law is married to a Reiki master. The first time I met her (and him) she wanted to give me reiki, which I let her. I lasted about 20 seconds before I burst out laughing. I eventually got it together and made it through the session. Fortunately my wife found it just as funny so it didn’t cause any hard feelings. To this day I can barely keep a straight face when we’re around her and she starts talking about the energy that flows through everything, especially rocks...

The Reiki Shark Repellent, free for a limited time with a subscription to the Horoscope Diet.