Strand Leper is not alone!

[PonoBill]

I know it's a "thing" with me, and undoubtedly why I responded in the first place. I hate apologies that I know are insincere. To me that's just manipulation coupled with the assumption that I'm not clever enough to understand that. Makes me angrier--and I assume it makes other people angry too.

I've had people say "how come you never say you're sorry" and my real answer is "because I rarely am".  I also hear "Why are you such a hardass, I apologized" and the real answer is "because you and I both know you don't mean it".

I'm more than willing to admit a mistake, completely open to the notion that I am totally wrong, misinformed, lazy, incompetent, etc. etc.. But I don't consider that something to apologize for, or something people need to apologize to me for. I tell my employees the surest way to get fired is to do so little they never make mistakes. the second surest way is keep making the same ones. If I run over your cat I'll be sorry, if I drop in you might hear "sorry about that" as I pull out, but apologize just to keep the peace? Nah.

[OUTSIDEWAVE]

I agree with Bill don't apologize for something you didn't do.  It sounds like you were always there with aloha and good surf spirit, Be true to yourself.  like everyone says  don't let them ruin your day. My theory is this I paddle out hang out chat a little, then  go outside and wait for a set. I let the firs 1-3 go through  every body is either in side or  just paddling back out.  I then TRY to catch a good wave, sometimes if my game is o I get a fabulous wave and everyone sees  it then they know. no words  just action. I can alos generllay tell who is gonna be a problem by the way they paddle out and the etiquette they display. The fool who cuts in front of me will likely cut me off or drop in. The guy who hoots I will point out set waves to him.  Sometimes I'll point  out waves to  some grouch and that helps.

If I fall  or miss  well  Chalk it up to my 1 year of sus experience. ( i used to do the same on my long board  ( 48 years surfing).  Then They know not to take off in font of me  too.  But hey you pay your money  you take your chances.

Funny though  how it always seems to be the non locals.. may be they are  nervous like a scared dog?    as for you you sound cool so keep up the good vibe and enjoy yourself.

[surf4food]

If you want to make nice with angry locals, bring a hibachi and fishing gear and offer up some grilled tacos from freshly caught fish.

[pdxmike]

All this apology stuff makes me think of years ago when my daughter was in grade school and they were being taught how to express their displeasure.  The teachers were telling them, "When someone does something you don't like, dont' use "you" sentences, use "I" sentences.  Tell them how what they're doing makes you feel.  So, for example, when someone calls you a name, don't call them names back.  Say, "When you call me a mean name, I feel sad". 

So then it went like this:

Teacher:  "OK, now pretend I'm someone on the playground and I call you a name.  What do you say to me?"

Student:  "Stop calling me names, you moron".

Teacher:  "No, Jason.  Remember, use your "I" sentence.  Tell them how the name calling makes you feel.  OK, now pretend I'm another student who just called you a name.  What do you say?"

Student: "When you call me names I feel that you are a moron".

[Celeste]

All this apology stuff makes me think of years ago when my daughter was in grade school and they were being taught how to express their displeasure.  The teachers were telling them, "When someone does something you don't like, dont' use "you" sentences, use "I" sentences.  Tell them how what they're doing makes you feel.  So, for example, when someone calls you a name, don't call them names back.  Say, "When you call me a mean name, I feel sad". 

So then it went like this:

Teacher:  "OK, now pretend I'm someone on the playground and I call you a name.  What do you say to me?"

Student:  "Stop calling me names, you moron".

Teacher:  "No, Jason.  Remember, use your "I" sentence.  Tell them how the name calling makes you feel.  OK, now pretend I'm another student who just called you a name.  What do you say?"

Student: "When you call me names I feel that you are a moron".

LOL, yep, it is all pop psychology and completely ineffective it one is a good manipulator.  One of my ex's who was well versed in psychology would respond to "I" statements with "No you don't".  Totally renders "I" statements useless.  Accusing someone of projection takes all blame off you.

[OC kbar]

I went to school at PLNU and surfed the cliffs right out front of young Hall. (My dorm was right on the ocean ).  I always thought the vibe was pretty mellow there.  I never had issues being a surfing newb my fist year with virtually no instruction.  Although this was 6 years before anyone even heard of stand up. 

[Beasho]

Offshore this morning, head to overhead+, getting cleaner.  SUP'ing all to myself on a reef break and out paddles this chick.  Never saw her before.  So I say good morning.  She smiles, but doesn't really say much.  I catch 7 waves, she none.  I start to worry 'Is this is the Strand Leper chick?'

I eventually say "High I am Beasho what's your name?"  She says "I am Kate."  I explain that there is usually only one woman who surfs at this spot, so clearly she must be new or from afar.  She explains she is from San Francisco . . . surfs Ocean Beach . . . delightful conversation . . .

She says "Wow you have the right gear today, its kind of lumpy . . " I think to myself:  "That's what the proners always say, and they're right I always do have the right gear!"  20 minutes later she heads in and I, again totally solo, proceed to catch 33 waves.  Pinch myself, 2012?

Moral: I tend to employ the high profile friendly guy routine, oh and surf at lesser occupied spots, and the mojo can be good.

[SoCalSupper]

I went to school at PLNU and surfed the cliffs right out front of young Hall. (My dorm was right on the ocean ).  I always thought the vibe was pretty mellow there.  I never had issues being a surfing newb my fist year with virtually no instruction.  Although this was 6 years before anyone even heard of stand up. 

Nice OCkbar-thats where my son is hoping to transfer in February-fun spots all along that area.

Im pretty chill and accomodating up to a point-i dont apologize unless i did something wrong-i try to make peace if i can and just generally feel out the vibe on the paddle out-if youre too much of a kiss ass you get steamrolled.

[Cardiff Sweeper]

^
No one is stopping anyone from getting a SUP. I got tired of the flat spells and wanted to maintain (improve) my physical well being. Then I realized my wave count skyrocketed, and it wasn't from taking other surfer's waves. I can just get into most every wave easier and earlier.

Just yesterday, within ten minutes I had caught no less than eight super fun beachbreak waves. While most people to the south were struggling catching anything with the swamped high-tide.

Hate is a choice.
I chose to do something.

[Southbay]

What most prone surfers see anytime they see a SUP....btw this is a clip from the recent Positively Kai.  Cracked me up.

[sup_surf_giant]

I've been threatened with death by stabbing and beating in parking lot. In both instances, the other party instigated the situation by either shooting a board at me or intentionally dropping on a wave I got.

Longboarders and shorties finally have a cause to unite them.

[Cardiff Sweeper]

^
Giant, you live in the OC. Sorry.

:p

Oh, second session yesterday was on my 5'6", just to shut up the haters.


They've been quite the trash talkers lately, and got me fired up!

[OC kbar]

I've been threatened with death by stabbing and beating in parking lot. In both instances, the other party instigated the situation by either shooting a board at me or intentionally dropping on a wave I got.

Longboarders and shorties finally have a cause to unite them.

Surf Giant

Where are you encountering this? That sounds pretty extreme.

[SUPflorida]

If some one your size is being hassled...can't imagine what a smaller person would be dealing with. That girl that was on your case...wonder what she sees when she looks in the mirror...must be something fierce...

[sup_surf_giant]

I've been threatened with death by stabbing and beating in parking lot. In both instances, the other party instigated the situation by either shooting a board at me or intentionally dropping on a wave I got.

Longboarders and shorties finally have a cause to unite them.

Surf Giant

Where are you encountering this? That sounds pretty extreme.

Doheny was one spot.

Cardiff was the other.

And in San Clemente I had a longboarder shoot his board at me.