Standup Zone Forum
General => General Discussion => Topic started by: Bulky on October 27, 2022, 10:30:59 AM
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Hi Zoners,
Don't post as often as I once did, but still check in about every week or so just to stay current on things. As much as I'm wanting to hop into foiling and all the new things people are trying, I'm still one of the relics that likes to plain old paddle every day. I've written a bit about why that might be and thought you might appreciate it.
https://www.independent.com/2022/10/26/survive-shark-attack-santa-barbara/?fbclid=IwAR3A1HokXdwLCdK36Qpp6IFtx-WmhYGzAXSb3PPVxDLK62aVAKuVG9uHC8E (https://www.independent.com/2022/10/26/survive-shark-attack-santa-barbara/?fbclid=IwAR3A1HokXdwLCdK36Qpp6IFtx-WmhYGzAXSb3PPVxDLK62aVAKuVG9uHC8E)
(I'd post a picture but I don't know how to do that anymore ;D Jump to the link. There's good ones there)
Keep paddling, foiling, etc--no matter what!
Rolf
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You are an excellent writer.
This sentence is so relatable, and well-put:
"I’m not escaping anything, but disengaging enough to get some perspective."
Really sorry for your losses, but inspired by your perspective.
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Thanks Bulky
Beautifully written story of loss and love.
Bob
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Rolf - That was a heck of a read, made me stop and take stock. Thanks for sharing. Dave
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Thanks for sharing. You have the heart of a warrior, your kids are lucky to have you as a father. I am sure your wife is proud watching from above.
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A deeply moving and beautifully written story -- thank you so much for sharing it!
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Good luck and thank you for sharing. It is so generous to share hard things.
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Thank you. It should give us all perspective as to how lucky we are and how quickly it can change. Losing our loved ones is the worst part of this beautiful life. Best wishes on your journey ahead
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I'm touched on many levels. My wife has a life-long illness and I forget sometimes how I am lucky it's going to be going on and on like this - the meds, the surgeries - they do work, mostly. Your writing was beautiful and your story took a lot of courage to share. Thank you.
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Bulky
I have been thinking a lot about your write up....
It is a life story written as brilliant, captivating literature, with all the joy and sadness that life will deliver.
Moving stuff. My best to you and your path forward. I think writing has a place in your future.
It also speaks perfectly to the power of the paddle.... something that provides so much in such a magical way. Absorbed by the rhythm of the water.
Thank you.
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Thanks for sharing this with the world. There's much to take from it, and to learn from. And happy for you that you still have your ocean time!
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I went to find my login information again so I could tell you how moved I was by your beautifully told story, from beginning to end. So clear-eyed and honest about loss, your unimaginable losses. A college friend of mine, coincidentally, sent me your article from the Independent the day after I read it here. (His daughter Maxine plays lacrosse with your daughter, he said.)
I grew up in Santa Barbara (in small-town coastal NE Florida now) so I could picture your paddles, and that shark. And I too lost my wife after almost three years of illness, to an evil brain tumor a few weeks before the world shut down in 2020. Our kids made me go for a freezing cold paddle-surf the next day, but I just kept falling off and screaming curses at the ocean and whatever it is, if anything, that's out there.
Eventually though the ocean again became a place of joy and restoration and just plain dumb fun. Glad you've found that too. Matt.
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Thanks so much, Zoners. Writing things out has been therapeutic and the responses in putting it out there are all part of a healthy process. So thanks!
@abmatt--neat connection with Maxine and her family. Great kid. Sorry you and I went through that kind of loss at around the same time. I actually was really glad for the pandemic as I craved solitude and welcomed not having much on the work or social calendar. Peace to you, my friend.
@deepmud--so sorry about your own journey with illness. It's so hard to watch your spouse go through that and there is such a specific agony to not being the sick one. Grace and peace to you.
@creek--your typical kindness and class shines through. Still hoping for a NE swing one of these days...
@sflinux--kind words. Thank you. Honoring my wife and son is a huge motivator--sometimes the only thing that gets me up and moving every day. Appreciate the affirmation.
Grateful for all of you. Paddle on, Zoners!
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Hey Rolf, Wow.. I knew you were going through rough times with your little Rudy ( I'm tearing up just thinking about him). Then your your beautiful wife. Shit man. That's... just rough. The shark attack is so random and very rare, but it happened to you (your board luckily). When I'm way out there paddling (always by myself) I think about it occasionally and it messes with my head. I get over it, and get lost in the same space you do. I know the feeling. Small and away from everything. Quiet. Hang in there man. Love the ones you are with. If you are ever in the area, you got my number. I've got extra boards paddles and everything.
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Bulky,
Keep on, man. If I can be a fraction of the human you are I will feel very well--and so will my family and friends.
You are an inspiration.
Feel love, because you sow it with immensity.
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Bulky ,
What others have articulated so well I want to echo. You remind me of what I love about the water and the people I meet along the way. You have inspired me mate. As a father and husband my heart goes out to you.
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Bulky, thanks for sharing this, I’m sure it wasn’t easy. I can’t even begin to imagine the pain, anger and sadness you’ve been through in the past 5 years. Your reflections on paddling and getting on the water served as a good reminder as to why I started paddling in the first place. Keep on truckin.
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Rolf,
Thanks for sharing this.
We all want the best for our children, and life can be so heartbraking at times, that I sometimes think it was for the best that one of my daughters left us so young. She was beautiful and pure, so I don't worry about the fate of her soul. It's the rest of us that I worry about. Anyway, that's what I tell myself.
Peace to you.
Jorge
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My condolences on your family. Beautiful way with words.
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Hey Rolf, Wow.. I knew you were going through rough times with your little Rudy ( I'm tearing up just thinking about him). Then your your beautiful wife. Shit man. That's... just rough. The shark attack is so random and very rare, but it happened to you (your board luckily). When I'm way out there paddling (always by myself) I think about it occasionally and it messes with my head. I get over it, and get lost in the same space you do. I know the feeling. Small and away from everything. Quiet. Hang in there man. Love the ones you are with. If you are ever in the area, you got my number. I've got extra boards paddles and everything.
Thanks, TD! I appreciate your eager responses to my random inquiries about fixing dings, etc. Still have your number saved and hope that one of my swings down to Dana Point we'll be able to collect. Getting curious about Unlimiteds for a few adventures I have in mind...and don't think I haven't noted that you've got a few. :D
And to the rest of you, thanks again. You're good people and drop me a line if you're ever in the Santa Barbara area and want to paddle. I can (almost) guarantee there won't be any sharks! ;)
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Rolf,
We'll be up visiting my daughter on the weekend of 12/3 and 12/4 if you feel like a surf.
I shared your article with friends and coworkers. It was certainly better told than my stammering and arm waving rendition. ;)
Til next meetup,
Jim
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Life is precious gentlemen.