Standup Zone Forum
Stand Up Paddle => Share the Stoke => Topic started by: scubasteve on November 12, 2019, 05:24:53 AM
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Help needed
Trying to get the misses to paddle on the ocean...she will paddle on the river or flat water but if there is any waves at all she panics, she can swim well it's just the fear of swell or any waves ankle high to knee high, its just a fear she can not get past......
Have any if you guys had any similar experiences? And if you have had any succes?
Thanks
Scuba
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Don't do it, or at least stop trying to get her to do it. Facing a fear can't really come from the outside. She'll still be prone to panic, and panic is what kills people, or at least gets them hurt. You don't want any part of that. My wife is the same way, swims better than I do, terrified of a wave making her fall into the water--and afraid of waves in knee-deep water. It's probably the loss of control. She loves being in the water with me close by, though it scares her.
The best you can do is create opportunities for her to try, but otherwise, let her deal with it and be careful not to create an atmosphere where you're punishing her for not doing what you want. My wife doesn't do any of the things I do (other than read compulsively), but she's completely supportive. I don't do the things she does, but I support her wholeheartedly.
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Ditto... Mine got rolled in the surf in Panama as a kid. ...'finally said, she doesn't even like going to the beach unless it's to take the dog for a walk. (I don't sit-n-wait either, so..) Don't push it. Make a friend: help her in the garden.
Jim
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I agree with Pono and Wet. Whenever I try to get my wife on the water because I want her to she usually doesn’t have as good of a time as when I just make the opportunity available to her and she decides paddle out on her own.
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By the way, that doesn't just apply to wives. The quickest way to ruin a sport for someone is coerce them into participating. Create opportunity, stand back and keep them safe, praise and don't judge. I've watched two friends turn their talented kids away from the very sports they wanted them to excel at.
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Help needed
Trying to get the misses to paddle...she can swim well it's just the fear of swell or any waves ankle high to knee high, its just a fear thing she can not get past......
Have any if you guys had any similar experiences? And if you have had any success?
Thanks
Scuba
Yes, and no I have not....
But I've also stopped trying, and just enjoy my "alone" time (with my friends :D), let her go and do her stuff during the day, and then we spend the late afternoons and evenings as our "together time", and all is peaceful and wonderful...(much better then when trying to negotiate, persuade, and eventually end up arguing with her as to why she should or shouldn't enjoy paddling like I do).
Added bonus...I don't have to go to art classes, floral arrangement classes, yoga classes, "shopping is my cardio" outings, and all of the things she likes to do during the day that I really have no interest in.
Just consider yourself lucky she likes to paddle rivers and flat water with you, and forget about trying to get anyone to do anything they dislike or even worse have a fear of (real or not).
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My wife progressed from flatwater paddling in bays and channels, to flatwater in the ocean, to even getting out for a paddle when there were ankle-knee high waves. Even went out a few times on her own accord (with me close by) while she was VERY pregnant. It was nice to have a leisure paddle buddy on the days when the surf was down.
Unfortunately, a close run-in with a curious porpoise was enough to halt her interest (hopefully temporarily).
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Thankyou everybody for the replies, i am not alone in this situation then phew...
I will take all of your advice, the friends from the zone.
Cheers
Scuba ;D