Standup Zone Forum
Stand Up Paddle => SUP General => Topic started by: eastbound on May 01, 2019, 12:04:14 PM
-
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/04/30/sports/sunny-garcia-suicide-attempt.html
depression sucks--and it's real, and it's dangerous
take good care of any of your people who might be afflicted
check in on them often, and make you they know youre out there, you care about them, you have their back, and you will be there if they need you--there is research that says this helps depressed people more than meds or talk therapy
-
I wholeheartedly agree brother!!!!
Recently buried my 15 year old neice that hung herself in the garage after watching some freaks YouTube channel giving people a step by step on how to "end the pain." To add insult to injury, he plays kids tunes in the background to get around YouTube's rules apparently. It really sucks.
So yeah, I totally agree with you on the constant reassurance of letting your loved ones or just friends KNOW that some out there IS caring about them.....no matter what.
-
We really need to get past the stigma of mental illness. It's an actual illness, not a character flaw and not a bad mood. When someone has the flu, people offer to mow the lawn or wash the clothes or do other chores for them. When someone suffers major depression, a lot of people just try to cheer them up. Offering practical help like doing chores is a really good thing to do. It really can be that debilitating.
Different things work for different people; don't dismiss meds out of hand. Doctors can and do over prescribe, but one of the most common situations in mental illness is the cycle of going off meds, feeling better at first (there are some side effects that it's nice to get rid of) and then crashing and burning, going to a dark place until convinced to see the doc again.
-
excellent add, rtg---i plan to offer help with specific chores also (ive got a close family member with depression, in case it wasnt obvious)---depressed people can be immobilized---good time to stop by, do the laundry, cook a meal, clean up a bit---i like that very much--might do some of that this wknd--after i surf dawn patrol sat am!! gotta keep my own head right too!
sounds awful ww--sorry for your niece and your family
-
WW, my condolences... maddening and surreal.
-
Thanks fellas!
I honestly don't know which was worse. Hearing the news or hugging my sibling and feeling the pain as all the uncontrollable crying occured and the collapse in my arms.
-
Windwarrior, that’s an absolute nightmare situation, and I am so sorry. As a parent myself, I just don’t know how I’d ever find a way to cope with that.
Depression is the biggest killer of young people. It’s extraordinary that we don’t get lessons in school about it, when there is so much emphasis on road safety, stranger danger etc, which are much less likely to kill you.
One of the manifestations of depression can be social withdrawal. So the person might not ask for help. They might not even recognise the symptoms themselves. So it’s not like someone broke a leg and then will ask for help. But they need it nevertheless. It can take a bit of perseverance, and you can’t be guaranteed that you’ll get thanked for it at the time. But it also might be the best chance you ever get to save a life. So, yes, we need to be patient. And offering practical support is an excellent idea. Listening too, without dismissing.
-
I have been lucky, depending on how you look at it. I have been to the ER twice with a kid after purposefully taking too much of something then deciding to come tell me. What really got me was when I was talking about his future not long ago and he said he really had not made plans because he didn't think he would live this long. He is much better now, making plans and doing things to achieve them.
I have been in the abyss. It's a nasty place.
-
Windwarrior, The loss of a child is excruciating no matter what the circumstances are. In your
situation my heart goes out to you and your entire family.
To be as present as you can is a wonderful gift that you have already given to your sibling.
May you continue to hold each other in your arms and hearts..
-
Oh, yeah; never, ever, ever, ever play the guilt card (think how bad everyone would feel). Just help. I let a pro do the heavy lifting.
-
Heard he tried to hang himself, he was dating a nutter google executive girl last year, Maybe that stuff went south
-
Windwarrior, that’s an absolute nightmare situation, and I am so sorry. As a parent myself, I just don’t know how I’d ever find a way to cope with that.
Depression is the biggest killer of young people. It’s extraordinary that we don’t get lessons in school about it, when there is so much emphasis on road safety, stranger danger etc, which are much less likely to kill you.
One of the manifestations of depression can be social withdrawal. So the person might not ask for help. They might not even recognise the symptoms themselves. So it’s not like someone broke a leg and then will ask for help. But they need it nevertheless. It can take a bit of perseverance, and you can’t be guaranteed that you’ll get thanked for it at the time. But it also might be the best chance you ever get to save a life. So, yes, we need to be patient. And offering practical support is an excellent idea. Listening too, without dismissing.
Yeah, it was a COMPLETE and unbelievable nightmare to go through.
When I flew into town I went to the house, which is when the collapse occurred and then after all my siblings were together, I walked away real quiet like and went into the garage where it all happened. I sat down and just got an overwhelming sense of being. Got goosebumps and just looked up towards the 2x4's where they found her and tears just started rolling down my face. I felt soooooo weird sitting there, in the barely lit garage. I was picturing what could've possibly been going through that poor girls mind while she did all that.
Her sister walked into the garage while I was sitting there looking up. Mind you, before I arrived my siblings were instructing me to not ask her sister any questions because she was fragile and they were concerned about her following her sisters path. So, I was blown away when after she walked into the garage, she just started giving me a step by step on how it all went down.
My sibling was on the phone talking to her brother (neices brother-my nephew who was out of state at the time) then everyone started asking where she was. They realized she had propped a chair up against the garage door from the kitchen. So they basically kicked through the door until they could reach in and push the chair away. Next thing that ensued was frantic screaming and yelling for help. Now, my nephew is just listening to all this over the phone because my sibling had just dropped the phone to reach her and try to prop her up and save her. By then it was too late. They got her down but she was all blue. They still performed cpr until paramedics arrived but she was already gone.
So my niece is rattling all this off while I'm sitting there with tears rolling down my face and I'm just in awe that she's decided to even talk about it. She even showed me her shoes and you could see what appears to be where at some point she stepped on her own shoes. As to try and change her mind to save herself or something. Damn! This is all still very fresh.
Sorry to even put this on a forum such as a paddle boarding forum but when I read the initial report that started this string, I just got flooded with emotions and couldn't resist responding and well, here I am.
I HOPE anyone that reads this really takes this to heart. Living through this nightmare is ABSOLUTELY HORRIFYING! I hope reading this will really help change somebody's mind about attempting something like this.
This has destroyed at least a dozen people. Not to mention a 15 year old that is gone forever.
-
I have been lucky, depending on how you look at it. I have been to the ER twice with a kid after purposefully taking too much of something then deciding to come tell me. What really got me was when I was talking about his future not long ago and he said he really had not made plans because he didn't think he would live this long. He is much better now, making plans and doing things to achieve them.
I have been in the abyss. It's a nasty place.
I'm embarrassed to say it but, I've been down that path once. I was 15. It was in the 80's back when there was some nut job lacing tylenol pills with cyanide and people were being killed. I downed a bottle of 250 tylenol pills and went to bed. Later that night I flew into the bathroom and started throwing up and couldn't stop throwing up. Parents couldn't understand why I was puking until I told them what I had done. Next thing I know dad threw me over his shoulder and bolted out the door while mom is in tow screaming bloody murder and starting the car. Yeah, THAT wasn't very fun AT ALL.
One thing I can certainly be thankful for is the fact I failed in that ridiculous attempt of taking my life. I wouldn't be able to tell everyone the wonderful stories of things I've done, places I've been, people I've met and the loves I've encountered.
It's difficult to describe what triggered that event. It boiled down to losing my first love and extreme heartbreak that followed.
I think RBGAR might've nailed it with the "going south" comment. Some are ok with love loss and some are not.
-
Windwarrior - I am so very sorry. That is absolutely horrendous. Words fail me: I’ve sat here staring at my computer screen trying to think of what to say. But, really, I’ve got nothing. Thinking of you guys at this extraordinarily painful time.
-
hang in there WW--take care your people, as you are doing--all you can do
-
Windwarrior - I am so very sorry. That is absolutely horrendous. Words fail me: I’ve sat here staring at my computer screen trying to think of what to say. But, really, I’ve got nothing. Thinking of you guys at this extraordinarily painful time.
I can only imagine you being mind blown after everything I typed. I know, it's a lot. Last thing you'd think you'd be reading on a paddleboarding forum right? Crazy I know.
We're(my family) all a very emotional family. Italian/Spaniard descent. So we tend to talk with our hands a lot. When something good OR bad happens, you can imagine the reactions that fly. So yeah, it's been a rough time.
It all happened about a month ago. Everyone flew in from across the country and just kinda hugged each other a lot. Last time we all saw each other was a decade ago after our mom passed. One positive thing that came from all this was we all talked about not being apart so much from this time forward. So we're going to make it a point to gather once a year to bond.
After our mom passed, it hit us all rather hard. All my siblings have 3 kids a piece so they all retreated into their bubbles. Only problem being is I don't have anyone to retreat to. No kids to hold, no gf, not even a goldfish. So I was pretty much left to fend for myself. Mom was my world. We talked every day after work. I'd call and talk to her about my day(I lived in the PNW at the time and she lived in S.Cal.) and she would tell me about hers. When she passed, that all ended.
The woman I was dating at the time for almost a year and was madly in love with decided at some point to take on a hobby (other men) and became distant with me. So rather than having a shoulder to cry on, I got nothing. I decided to enlist a good friend of mine to make contact with her through Match (where we met) to see how long it would take her to respond to his note. 20 minutes was all it took. He forwarded me her message, I met her for lunch and I confronted her. I asked her 2 questions. 1- I thought we were exclusive (her response was, yes honey I can see myself marrying you) and 2- then explain this, as I slide the fateful (not to be confused with FAITHFUL) note across the table. Her reaction? Tears start dropping onto the note. She looks up and says, I don't know what to say. My response? I thought so and I walked out. Called my bro and told him I'm leaving the PNW and heading your way.
I became a recluse for the first year. After that, I decided to rediscover my love for the outdoors and everything "ing."
This is how I discovered paddleboarding!!!! Took a while but I found it!!!! Have grown to love every single minute cruising around on top of this board and alllllll the cool bodies of water I've been on and all the planning of the future one's I'm going to hit!!! I'm an organizer of a paddleboarding meetup group and enjoy it very much. Meet cool people and enjoy the stoke together! This year? Crested Butte and the Slate River!!!
How's that song go again? "I get knocked down but I get up again."
;D 8) :P :)
-
So yeah, I totally agree with you on the constant reassurance of letting your loved ones or just friends KNOW that some out there IS caring about them.....no matter what.
Windwarrior, I wish you didn't have to speak out of experience, but it's that experience that made me realize how suck I'm at that. A simple gesture makes all the difference. Thank You!
-
So yeah, I totally agree with you on the constant reassurance of letting your loved ones or just friends KNOW that some out there IS caring about them.....no matter what.
Windwarrior, I wish you didn't have to speak out of experience, but it's that experience that made me realize how suck I'm at that. A simple gesture makes all the difference. Thank You!
Simple gestures ARE what it's all about!
I'll never forget the day my brother grabbed ahold of me with a great big hug then started crying. He yelled from the top of his lungs "DON'T LEAVE ME "
No matter how awkward it may seem at the time, it WILL leave a permanent thought in that person's mind. Just let it flow......
-
glad youre up again WW
and re "im afraid to say the wrong thing" ?? nope--be thoughtful about what you say, but say something--those who are in pain respond to compassion, even imperfect compassion
-
Thanks WW for sharing your pain and experience. Talking helps. Asking someone you are worried about how they are doing, feeling helps. Human contact helps and if you are very concerned asking them if they are considering suicide does not prompt someone to act on it. If you can, get them to the help that they need. The loss of a child is heartbreaking. Your word have helped someone in need, they have helped me to reach out to a neighbour I know is struggling. Bob
-
glad youre up again WW
and re "im afraid to say the wrong thing" ?? nope--be thoughtful about what you say, but say something--those who are in pain respond to compassion, even imperfect compassion
ABSOLUTELY!!! Compassion is key...
-
Thanks WW for sharing your pain and experience. Talking helps. Asking someone you are worried about how they are doing, feeling helps. Human contact helps and if you are very concerned asking them if they are considering suicide does not prompt someone to act on it. If you can, get them to the help that they need. The loss of a child is heartbreaking. Your word have helped someone in need, they have helped me to reach out to a neighbour I know is struggling. Bob
I'm VERY HAPPY that it's helping someone out there!!!!
One thing I can say to look for is sitting in darkness with the shades shut when it's a clear blue sunny day out.
Even more so when it's gloomy outside. Open all the shades in the entire house/apt to brighten the mood indoors!!
Very first thing I was told and noticed when I landed in the PNW was that it was the suicide capital of the country due to all the "gloom." I moved there in the summer of 2000 and by September I started noticing commercials popping up for depression AND suicide prevention. So, I threw myself headfirst into the outdoors. Went to REI in Seattle and bought rain gear, hiking boots and a backpack. THEN I met a couple one day on Mount Rainier and told them I was hiking alone and new to the state. Well, they both asked if I'd heard of "meetup". They told me all about it and when I got home I liked what I saw. I joined 14 different groups, met tons of new people and became an organizer in 10 groups. Next thing I know I'm at a grocery store one day wearing my signature blue bandana and a couple walked up to me and asked if I was "that hiker guy". I was stunned and laughed then said "why yes I am". I wasn't aware I was THAT popular or known. It was pretty cool though.
Meetup has been a godsend for me. It's free, very fun and gets people outside mingling with others!!! Any activity you could possibly think of you can search for and probably find it.
So yeah, get that neighbor OUTSIDE and active. One thing a doctor told me once was, the best thing for you is being active, it stimulates your endorphins, helps tire you out and you sleep like a baby. I can honestly say without a doubt in my mind, that has helped tremendously!!! I'm glad I listened.
-
It looks like Sunny will pull through but it begs the question, did he want to? Hopefully this will be a wake up call and he gets help rather than attempting taking his own life again. I've had 5 friends or relatives take their own lives in the last 12 months and it just seems like it's getting to be more prevalent unfortunately.
-
Good news to hear! Hopefully he finds happiness within himself and realizes the lives he's affected during all this through family and friends that come together before it's too late.
I can honestly say that once someone has their mind set on something like this, it goes one of two ways. Family and friends are critical!!
Wishing him love and hope in his time of need.
Hopefully he reads these comments.
Peace!
-
good news--thx for the update--hope he's undamaged and can get help and be ok
-
She even showed me her shoes and you could see what appears to be where at some point she stepped on her own shoes. As to try and change her mind to save herself or something.
In interviews with survivors who jumped from the Golden Gate Bridge, the common thread is that the second their feet left the bridge, they knew they had made a mistake, and that whatever the problem was, it was not insurmountable.
I had PTSD in my early 20's, and with that came depression and the whole list of torments. I've been through some bad things, but depression is, by far, the worst thing I've ever experienced. You just can't accurately describe it to people. It's my opinion that it's mainly support that keeps people moving forward. You can reach a point where the pain is so unbearable, the only reason you don't end it is because you don't want to hurt those who care for you. That's a dark place to be, and without the lifeline of people who care, there's nothing to hold on to.
Stigma or not, I made a promise to myself to always share my experience and be there for anyone who needs help. I'm greatly saddened when I hear of things like what happened with your niece, what's happening with Sunny, what AI went through, and on and on and on...
-
i've suffered from depression and the cptsd form of ptsd since i was a kid and been on the ledge many times. years of therapy of various kinds and years of drugs of various kinds kept me from taking the final step but they never made me feel any better. i just ... maintained. and then 8 months ago i found ketamine and finally for the first time i can recall, i actually knew what it was like to live without pain, both physical (since i have that pain too) and mental/psychic. my various symptoms and wayward inclinations dropped by maybe 90%. the treatments are expensive. in my case, it's been 400 each, and i do it twice a month. but if you can afford it, and you've got serious depression or ptsd, it's the way to go. or at least it has been for me. a godsend.
-
always been wary, linter, of all meds, but esp abused drugs---but your take affected me, given your context here---tho not ready to reco to my young adult family member who has depression
closer, tho--thx for the insight
glad your feeling well
-
I also have a prescription that helps me that isn't subject to abuse, which I have some historical trouble with. Lamictal keeps me from plunging far into into the pit or experiencing more than mild hypomania when headed in the other direction. I take responsibility for my previous problems with drug abuse, but it's interesting that a recent study found a 60% incidence of drug abuse in patients diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I am type 2, experiencing milder mania. Our bodies manage the brain with all sorts of chemicals and some of our internal chemists go mad scientist on us every now and then. Often the right medicine can counteract that or at least limit frequency and severity. I have often lied about my condition just because of public perception. If I am down and tell people I am depressed they try to cheer me up. If I tell then I have bipolar disorder they hide the knives.
-
Mental illness runs in my family. I’m 55, when I was in 4th or 5th grade my mom had a nervous break she was hospitalized for months went thru electric shock treatment and heavy meds turns out years later her thyroid seems to have been the culprit. She’s on thyroid meds for the rest of her life if she goes off the meds she’s literally a crazy person. I also suffer from anxiety and depression. I was taking celexa for the past five years or so, at first I think it helped, my wife thinks so, but lately I’m not so sure so I’ve been titrating off the meds. I want to see what it feels like to be med free. Also, in the past five years my alcohol intake has gone up which is scary. I’ve read some articles recently about folks saying they also experienced alcohol cravings while on celexa and when stopping the med the cravings went away. I’m not so optimistic but I’ll see. The thought I’m suddenly an alcoholic sucks. It’s amazing how much mental illness is out there. I know of three people I went to high school with who have a son that died from overdose.
-
I have had more trouble with alcohol while off meds than on. I have currently been on meds for just over two years and haven't had a drink in just under two years. I don't even have to fight any urges; it's like magic. Coincidence? Not likely. I want to stay alcohol free because of the way the odds play out for older people with drinking problems. I also feel the urge to get off meds and have had numerous cycles of doing exactly that and pretty quickly get wild mood swings and alcohol cravings. I consciously know this and still want to believe I am better and I can stop taking meds.
-
I have had more trouble with alcohol while off meds than on. I have currently been on meds for just over two years and haven't had a drink in just under two years. I don't even have to fight any urges; it's like magic. Coincidence? Not likely. I want to stay alcohol free because of the way the odds play out for older people with drinking problems. I also feel the urge to get off meds and have had numerous cycles of doing exactly that and pretty quickly get wild mood swings and alcohol cravings. I consciously know this and still want to believe I am better and I can stop taking meds.
Interesting. I’m sure different type of meds effect people in different ways. Celexa is a SSRI med which raises the serotonin level I believe similar to alcohol from what I’ve read.
-
I have had more trouble with alcohol while off meds than on. I have currently been on meds for just over two years and haven't had a drink in just under two years. I don't even have to fight any urges; it's like magic. Coincidence? Not likely. I want to stay alcohol free because of the way the odds play out for older people with drinking problems. I also feel the urge to get off meds and have had numerous cycles of doing exactly that and pretty quickly get wild mood swings and alcohol cravings. I consciously know this and still want to believe I am better and I can stop taking meds.
Interesting. I’m sure different type of meds effect people in different ways. Celexa is a SSRI med which raises the serotonin level I believe similar to alcohol from what I’ve read.
I know about SSRI meds; it's a common way that BP2 is diagnosed. I was depressed so they gave me SSRIs and they made me hypomanic instead. It's irritable impatient hypomania, which is no fun. Left to my own devices unmedicated I get depressed more often than hypo, but at least the hypomania is usually the happy puppy kind.
-
He's still fighting for survival.
From yesterday ~
HONOLULU (KHON2) - Sunny Garcia headed to surgery Thursday morning for a Trach/PEG, according to his daughter's Instagram page, @kailakgarcia.
Kaila Garcia has given updates via IG since the World Champion surfer was hospitalized in Oregon last month.
Few details were disclosed as to what put Sunny Garcia in the hospital. However, Kaila stated that he remains "in the ICU and very critical and still on life support."
I had to look up Trach/PEG ~
"Facts About Tracheostomy and PEG. A PEG is an endoscopically guided feeding tube placed through the skin of the abdomen directly into the stomach. The main indication for PEG placement is the inability to swallow properly, which can occur due to medical illness or prolonged oral intubation for mechanical ventilation."
I like to think that it's because of the prolonged ventilation only, and not because of additional problems because he tried to hang himself, but that's still undisclosed.
-
My guess is he's on life support due to an extended period of oxygen deprivation. Basically, he's on life support. Usually not a great outcome from that.
-
An update ~
https://www.surfline.com/surf-news/sunny-garcia-update-speaking-words-physical-therapy/63149?fbclid=IwAR1X8hP2XGUOZuvh6QM14ZWcq_F9xO1qhFeWy4kwE-tOuOTPBar5QansnGY
Well wishes are coming in from all over the world hoping for a speedy recovery, and I am as well, but.....
I'm having a hard time looking at that pic, he always struck me as a man with a lot of pride, which you can have at the same time as you are suffering from depression. That makes me wonder if he is really happy now that people are trying to save him, especially in his current state, assuming he's aware of it (something I don't know).
It conflicts me, greatly.