Hawaiian Jokes

[PonoBill]

I was thinking about Chuck Patterson and just started cracking up. He's a funny guy. His "Hawaiian" pidgin made me think of Hawaiian jokes. Sorry, that's how an ADD-fueled mind works. I'm supposed to be pulling the engine and transmission out of Peyote, but I'm telling you jokes.

Where was I. Oh, yeah. Here's some, let's see yours:

Portuguese guy walks into a store and says “I like one spicy Potagee sausage”
Counter guy says “Ah, you Potagee?”
“Hey, I resent dat”, said the man. “If I say you got one Italian sausage you ask I was Italian?”
“No, sir”, says counter guy.
“Well how come you ask if I Potagee?”
“Cause this is one hardware store”

You know you're Hawaiian if:
    You don’t understand why anyone would buy less than a 20 lb bag of rice…
    You know what is in the big breakfast at mcdonald’s
    You have at least one family member whose name is “_____ boy; or “tita”…
    You give directions using mauka and makai…
    When your jokes are ’bout Portugese not Polish…
    When it’s 70 degrees you put on a jacket.

What's a haole's idea of open-mindedness?
Dating a Canadian.


A haole and a Potagee were watching Monday Night Football together. The haole said ?I?ll bet you ten dollars the quarterback throws an interception on the next play.?
The Potagee says ?You?re on!?
Next play, the quarterback throws an interception.
Shit!", says the Potagee, and hands the haole a ten dollar bill.
"I can't take your money", says the haole. "I listened to this football game earlier this afternoon on the radio".
"So did I", the Potagee said, "But I nevah thought he would be stupid enough to do it again!"



   

[southwesterly]

 A Hawaiian with a limp?

 "Not even brah"

[standuped]

This might be a Hawaiian joke

[JimK]

Hey No picking on NS I got paid to surf in the beginning of that film way back in the mid 80's at Oasis waterpark in PS California. You should of seen the windsurfing at the PONDS in those days. Surf in the Mornings Windsurf the PONDS all afternoon....

The Old days
JimK
www.extremewindsurfing.com

[KiwiSupGreg]

Not quite hawaiian

[PonoBill]

One of the ways you can tell someone is Hawaiian is if they really hate "North Shore"

[timchandler]

Just watched the episode of Drunk History on Cook's discovery of Hawaii - my wife and I crackin' up at this: 

"Here's this sack. Of... Here's this sack of James Cook. No hard feelings - you understood how it all went down. have fun back in England..."



PS.  North Shore?  Guess how many times I've heard "'Chandler?... I thought you was dead..?'  Right??!  Like in North Shore!"  YEAH. I get it that's awesome. 

[covesurfer]

It's a damn good thing you'll be back on Maui in a week.

[bts]

That is not pono.

Three girls talking by the fence.

Hey Honeygirl, what you got da garbage man fo Christmas?

        Well, I one ask my husband what fo get da garbage man fo christmas and he said "give em some beer", so I give em one case beer.

How bout you, Honeygirl?

        Well, I one ask my husband what fo get da garbage man fo christmas, and he said "give em some fish", so I give em one jar poki.

How bout you Honeygirl?

        I give em one piece of ass.

Why you did dat?

       Well, I one ask my husband what fo get da garbage man fo christmas, and he said "fuck em"


One more. Take tiny steps with your big toes side by side and ask "what's this"
       Portagee slippah thief



         

[standuped]

A ++++ !!!

[standuped]

Here's one I just made up...

What is big and brown, has four limbs and roams around the hill sides of Maui consuming grass lands ??

Hint it's not one of the Marx brothers

[SlatchJim]

The jacket at 70 F comment hits home.  When I was in college, we had a month long interim semester in January.  We had visiting students from St. Olafs in Minnesota and from Hawaii.  On a sunny 60 F day in Redlands, CA the Minnesotans were in swim suits tanning on the roof, while the Hawaiians looked ready to snowboard.

[Kaihoe]

Not quite hawaiian

Don't start with the BillyT jokes Greg this thread will never end

[odzilla]

Two guys in separate muscle cars pull up to a stop light and proceed to rev their engines at each other. The first guy rolls down his window and shouts to the other driver:"Race?". The other driver rolls down his window and shouts back "Portugese".